Hey folks,
As many of you know, your boy has returned from NYC. It was fun having you all follow and lend your support and keep me company on the road. So much is happening (or should I say shifting) in the world of home design. I met with many top home magazines. Many shared with me their new ideas for new concepts they’re working on for upcoming issues – some are even doing major overhauls too-–which they should. Times have changed a great deal and it’s good to see the publishing folks are really listening again, much of which I’ve been sharing with all of you for quite some time. So before you abandon some of those subscriptions, I suggest you wait. Some really fresh formats are coming down the pike.
There was also tremendous publishing support for our new Ask Christopher web series too, which I was grateful for. So, don’t be surprised if you see them lending their collective voices to this new project in the very near future, very much the way they have in our past TV series. Our goal is always to be inclusive of as MANY voices as we can to give you all a well-rounded glimpse of all things home, week-to-week! So I came home feeling that all our intense groundwork for the series is really tracking with the rest of the shelter publication business too.
Okay. As promised, while a bit off topic, many of you women on Twitter engaged in an interesting and very relevant conversation about men and flirting. I tried hard to give you the man’s point of view on the topic in 140 characters. Some of you were convinced I was slightly off and that you did not flirt at all. But, I was not talking about obvious, sexual flirting, which finally many of you direct-messaged me having figured that out. Some of you also remembered that I have a psychology background too! Surprise! And because of the DM conversations going on simultaneously, many missed that part of the conversation as well.
What was the upshot? Simply this: (guys forgive me for giving this away)
You see, men (and I’m talking about mature men here. After all, jerks will be jerks) may seem ‘simple’ to you women because you often base that judgment call on their verbal skills. What you often do not see or even know (because they are not as verbal or don’t want to be) is that they have a profound and focused visual ability—more so than many women. They may not seem to (or even bother to) listen, they may seem preoccupied and they may not even (care to) pick up on what you think are very pointed verbal cues.
While you’re doing oral gymnastics you think relevant, they sometimes give it little credence because they have experienced that your words often betray your true and involuntary body language—which they trust far more for its remarkable and reliable consistency. Mature men understand the power of silence and observation far more than women realize. They have no need (even between each other) to express this verbally. That’s why an overt slap on the ass or a subtle shift in a chair conveys more to a guy than all the “I think,” “I feel,” “I wonder,” “I want,” and “I need” dialogue that many women verbally pepper and preface with—thinking they’re being “open” and “transparent.”
Many women think that their allure (or their power) is in how they dress and that if they’re “dressed down,” they’re controlling how they’re perceived. Not so. It’s the body language even under the sweat pants and the scrunches and the plain face, that gives a mature, interested man all the cues he usually needs to know for good or for bad.
So ladies, before you dismiss the non-verbal man thinking all the power is in your words, think again. And if you don’t believe me, remember I’m a verbal man who has often betrayed himself and had to learn the hard way, LOL! And maybe this actually is not off topic. After all, who we are and the better we know and accept each other, the more inspirational our homes!
BTW, speaking of visual, a lot of you said you wanted to visually see me, for whatever reason, how I’ve aged, my level of energy, or maybe ya just want to connect that way. Well if you go to www.OfficeDepot.com you can see me in 18 short new videos.
Lastly, I want to thank everyone who voted in your design challenge on HomeWorkshop.com and the sponsor of the event Alluminare. While conducting the judging I had a chance to interface with these remarkable people. I recommend that you bookmark both these sites because they have a great deal to offer you.
Later,
CL
I have checked out the videos on Office Depot, and honey, you are looking good! All your efforts to eat well are paying off.
It’s definitely a good point that body language can say a lot, whether you are male or female! So, that makes me think…what does your house say based on the interior design? I think mine says, “Tries hard to be sophisticated with a touch of eccentricity, but a bit scattered at times.” LOL
Comment by windsornot — June 25, 2010 @ 2:11 pm
Oh my. PLEASE let me comment on this, as a very emotional, expressive, wordy woman married to a mellow, stable, quiet man. What you are saying is so true about the profound and focused visual abilities. SO true. I have learned so much from my husband about the value of the nonverbal. It’s actually brought some focus to my own verbal skills. We ladies can learn a lot from you guys.
Comment by libbyunwin — June 25, 2010 @ 3:12 pm